What on earth possessed me to start a blog now? Frustration, desperation, inspiration... one or all are probably close. I thought my life experiences were pretty specific to me, particularly the difficult issues I face, tackle, struggle through and are frequently overwhelmed with the magnitude, complexity and my inability to effectively change circumstances. I am not so sheltered as to believe I am the only person who experiences trials and tribulations, simply that my path in recent years did not seem to be one shared by many or applicable to many others. I had no way of knowing that my missteps, decisions, naivete that bordered on ignorance and no blueprint to follow would help create a situation that can only be described with the word "cluster...". Prior to my journey, I consulted with professionals, perused information available on the Internet at the time, which was five years ago, looked deep into my own value system and thought, no, immersed my thoughts and heart in everyone involved and the effects to my family, collectively and individually. Getting started was a years long decision, one not taken lightly. Anyone who really knows me, knows there is very little I take lightly.
Still involved, mired, enmeshed in something I believed would be resolved, perhaps imperfectly, but resolved, part of the past, many years ago I began speaking a little more openly about my life. A private person by nature, many people were unaware of the last five years of protracted legal battles, loss, hopelessness and faith. I had been waiting for my personal drama to end so that the next phase of my life could begin. Then, if necessary, I would be able to explain how hard things used to be, but that was in the past. Everything is fine, now.
Unfortunately, my life has been on hold, and now with no end in sight, I accept that I may not be able to have all the unpleasantness in tidy compartments before I venture out into living again. A funny thing happened as I spoke a little more freely, openly. I began to hear tales of others who had been or were experiencing the very same obstacles as me. Tentatively I reached out, asked questions, shared some of the more isolating and personal aspects of this rocky path, and learned that if there was no clear solution, at least I knew I wasn't the only person trying to grasp how things had gotten so unbelievably messed up.

So, this is my first blog. A brief, probably vague introduction into the what and why, as I discover it myself... if I am ready for a brave step, when, where, more what and how will follow.